I have a not so secret hobby–MMOs.

It began about 10 years ago when my brother introduced me to the beta version of this Korean online game Ragnarok Online. I always thought it was fun that my brother gets to play first person shooters with his friends online. I didn’t have many RL friends that actually likes video games, and all my friends online at that time are from the art community. So I picked up the game, and started my adventure by myself.

It’s been quite a journey. Even when I stop playing for a couple of years, there’s always something else that has came out of my gaming days. Art, code, even a relationship, no, not a fake one.

The Fan Artist

Ragnarok Online must have been something really special to artists, because I later found out that my artist friends all play as well. Maybe something about the 2D sprites that gave us room for imagination. Many of us would play the games, and create artworks out of them. For me, it was just art, but for the group used to be known as Studio XD, had turned it into something big, something we know today as Gaia Online.

Looking back, a lot more has happened in the 2-3 years I played the game, more than I thought at the time. The biggest things were the friends that I made way back then that I still keep in touch with, and all the art that came out of it. Most of which I don’t even remember doing.

I loved the idea of a group of people with the same past time, all in their respective homes, enjoying the same game and working together as a team. Many of my artworks were inspired by my friends.

I’ve always been taught that video games was a waste of time. Regardless of what came out of it, or how much fun I’ve had. When I was younger, I didn’t care, but as I got older, it seems to get looked down upon even more. And if the game in question is an MMO it will get bashed even more.

But I disagree, and I don’t regret the time I’ve spent playing MMOs. Sure, life could have gone a different path, but I don’t see anything wrong with the one I have now. I think on top of the art that came out of it all, I’ve also learned several life lessons, sparked more interests in coding and making websites. Most of all, I got some small lessons on leadership.

Leadership

RO was also the very first time I came into a position of leadership. I am not sure how I got to that position, but somehow I ended up there as a leader of a guild. I think I’ve always wanted to keep my friends together, and the only way I saw possible was to do it myself.

Back then I didn’t understand much of the concept of a guild. But I’ve always had this idea of creating a common playground for my guild to communicate out of game. That was when I really started to try and code things. I created a simple forum from scratch for everyone to keep in touch when the game is unavailable.

Back then I also tried to keep everyone together out of game when people are bored during the game’s downtime. By getting everyone together to play silly things like pictionary or just chatting with people individually. Today, I still don’t understand why I did that. And somehow, I am still trying to do the same thing now.

I’ve also learned some hard lessons that I’ve yet to adjust to today. A leadership position isn’t to be taken lightly. I learned that a leader is also a symbol, and people look towards the individual as a person to tie things together. They go to the leader if anything comes up. It takes a strong individual to be able to uphold that kind of position. And I was not that individual.

Regardless, I kept on trying my best. There were often moments where I stop and wonder why I did it at all, why do I bother to put so much effort into something that other people probably don’t even care about. I wanted to stop whatever I was doing, and disappear. But I couldn’t, or maybe I was just telling myself that I couldn’t leave people hanging like that. Now that I think about it, it probably wouldn’t matter. It’d suck for a while, but people would find a way to keep going.

I kept it up for as long as I could, until life got busy, or I got bored enough of the game to go back to focusing on life. It happened slowly though, the way I think worked the best. And I think that’s always been how I leave a game, just disappear slowly.

Rinse and Repeat

Couple years after RO, I managed to let some friends in college talk me into playing a new MMO with them. FFXI. He told me stories of what he used to do in the past, something about EQ, his friends. I was sold.

There were about 6 of us total. We began planning on what we wanted to play and do in the game. We were going to work together. I’ve always been a big fan of Final Fantasy, but I had no idea what this one would involve. All I knew is that the last MMO I played was fun, and this will be just that much more awesome because I will be starting with friends IRL.

We all picked a class we wanted in game, well, most of us did. I wanted to play a red mage or thief, but they made me play the damned healer. Yes, someone has to be the healer, let’s make the girl do it >_> I wanted to work with the team, so I didn’t protest too much and got stuck with a white mage.

It was really difficult keeping up with them. I first had to learn how to play the game, which was more complex than RO. Then I had to try and kill things on a weak ass Tarutaru white mage. While the rest of my friends were blasting through with some battle class telling me to catch up.

It was fun though, when I get those 10pm calls telling me to go online to play the game with them. We didn’t really know what we were doing, but it was fun beating up things together. I slowly realized that information was important, I wanted to know where to go, what to do. So I looked up fan sites, printed out quest details, and all that.

Most importantly, I loved knowing where to go. I found this great Japanese map site that I used religiously. But often there would be unclear information because it was written in Japanese, or missing information that I wished were on the site. Eventually, I decided that I wanted to make my own. That’s when it began…

<3 for Maps

I’ve always been a big fan of maps. It’s such a great way to show data visually. When I was young, I remember following maps to various libraries with my friend. We would pick a library that was out of the district, and rollerblade there. It’s always been this hidden passion that I never thought about. I would have multiple world maps stuck on my wall, with stickers over places I’ve been to, and often look at others that I’d love to one day visit. I realized my passion for maps when I created my own fan site.

It kind of began back in RO, I vaguely remember trying to start a map site. But I lacked the technical skills, and somehow ended up trying to do it in flash. Needless to say, it didn’t quite take off.

The second time around, I stuck with it. Worked tirelessly to put together a static site, translating everything from the Japanese map site, then adding my own notes in there. After I was done, I submitted the site to be listed under fan sites on the official website of the game. Without any other links or advertising, it pretty much took off there. People saw a useful site, they pass it along. It was when I learned the value of viral advertising.

Soon enough, a static website was not going to cut it. I continued to learn PHP and MySQL on my own to try and make the website easier to maintain. Two revisions later, FFXI Atlas was what came out of it. It’s a pretty shitty website now due to lack of update and all the security patches that had to be put in place because it became a target for hackers. But once upon a time, it was a pretty big site, and I learned a lot from it. Today it sits there, I guess it’ll be a time capsule of shame, a website abandoned by the webmaster, I don’t know. I have no clue how to close down a site. Apparently people still use it. I don’t know why with it being so outdated and all :/

No more games?

During the time of FFXI and my map site, I actually made quite a lot of money on the site. Enough to pay for rent in college. It also took a lot of time though, and it’s always one of those things where it’s hard to tell people about. Unless the person I’m talking to plays a similar type of game, no one really understands what it is that I’m doing.

There’s always been a divide with life and the online world with these games. Maybe it was just that we’ve all gotten older, but I remember back in my art days, online friends are just as real as people we hang out with every day. We meet up at cons at least twice a year and do our thing together. Artist alleys, jams, all that stuff.

With online games, however, I’ve noticed that people aren’t in the same mind set. It seems like people are just there to play the game together, and that’s it. Nobody really care or want to meet up, or often even want to know you as a person. Maybe it’s just the crowd, but I’ve always had problems understanding that. After FFXI, I thought that I would be done with it all. Forgetting most of the good things that came of it, I decided that MMOs doesn’t fit into my life anymore.

But nope, history will repeat itself again. For the better or worse.

To be continued…